Up within the Scottish Highlands only at that very moment, outside Inverness, Gangsta Granny Gritter is keeping the street clear and ice-free. Out east near Keith, Sir Grits-A-Lot loves to plow and it cannot lie. And down south in the lowlands, Spready Mercury takes care of this thing called ice.
You see, Scotland apparently names its snowplows, or “gritters” as they’re called across the pond. And, true to Scottish form, those names are just delightful. You may also track where they are at any given time. Take it away, list!
Amber Snowy
Arctic Angel
BFG Big Friendly Gritter
Blizzard Bear
Chilly Connolly
Darth Spreader
David Plowie
For Your Ice Only
Fred
Gangsta Granny Gritter
Grit A Bit
Grit Expectations
Gritallica
Gritney Spears
Gritter Bug
Grittest Hits
Grittie McVittie
Grittle Mix
Gritty Gonzales
Gritty Gritty Bang Bang
Han Snow-lo
I Want To Break Freeze
Ice Breaker
Ice Destroyer
Ice Queen
Jeremy Brine
Lew-Ice Capaldi
Licence To Chill
Luke Snowalker
Meltin’ John
Mr Plow
Mrs Gritter
My Name'5 Doddie
Nitty McGritty
Penelope Gritstop
Plougher O'Scotland
Polar Bear Explorer
Polar Patroller
Ready Spready Go
Rumble
Salty
Sandy The Solway Salter
Scotland's Bravest Gritter
Sir Andy Flurry
Sir Grits A Lot
Sir Salter Scott
Slippy McGritty
Snow Bother
Snow Destroyer
Snow Dozer
Snow Trooper
Snowball
Snowbegone Kenobi
Snowkemon Go
Sophie Salt
Spready Mercury
Sprinklebell
Sprinkles
The Golden Great Gritter
The Grittiest Snowman
The Incredible Ice Bear
The Snow Buster
The Snow Solution
The Winter Explorer
True Gritter
Yes Sir Ice Can Boogie
As you can see, there are many Star Wars entries and, as the land of Sean Connery, a few James Bond references (plus Gritty Gritty Bang Bang for added Ian Fleming content). There are also numerous musician references, such as Gritney Spears, David Plowie and Meltin’ John, and The Simpsons rightly receives a shout out with Mr. Plow.
So, what’s the deal past the Scots’ cheeky sense of humor? Well, based on the BBC, Scottish primary school children got a chance to name it well inside a 2006 competition. Congratulations wee ones.
Personally, I’m a fan of Fred. You'll need a straight one for the jokes to land.
“Och, laddies, we got a blizzard brewin’. Git to the gritters!”
“Och, which of them, sir?”
“Och, take Snowbegone Kenobi, Nitty McGritty and Fred.”
“Aye!”
